Delta Airlines: Wicked Witch of the West?

Was asked to give a talk at a University in, of all places, Parkville Kansas. Did it for free. Civic duty and all that stuff. They paid my ticket and hotel.

I fly Delta. First time.

No problem flying to Kansas. Give the talk. All goes off well. I'm at the airport, 4:45 a.m. this morning, on time, standing in front of the Delta airline desk, smiling, all ready to go home. The woman behind the desk is checking me in.

"Sir, do you have a return ticket?"

"Yes, ma'm, you're holding it."

"No. I mean a return ticket from the Dominican Republic?"

"But I bought that ticket there round trip. I bought it in the Dominican Republic."

"Yes sir, I know, but you have to have a return ticket from the Dominican Republic."

"What?"

"It's policy sir."

I've flown out of Dominican Republic over 40 times in the past 5 years. My passport is full of stamps. I'm flipping through it, trying to show her, "You see," I'm saying as politely as possible-- last thing I want to do is piss her off--"I fly in and out all the time."

"Yes sir, I see that."

"Maybe the problem is that I always US Air, American, and Spirit?" I'm saying it cheerfully, polite, I know we're going to clear this all up, just a little misunderstanding. Another moment I'll be on my way, "I didn't know that Delta has a different policy,"

"I'm sorry sir..... "

"But, I've gotta get home."

"Sir,"

"I gotta go to work, I don't have the money to..."

"SIR."

"I have responsibilities, and I don't have money to..."

"Sir, there are other customers waiting."

"Can you just get me to my next destination. It's Atlanta. Right here in the United States..."

"Sorry sir."

"I can't go to Atlanta, George."

"Next. passenger."

"Can I use the phone. My phone doesn't work here."

"Next please"

"There are no pay phones and well."

"Please step back sir."

"I have to stay in Kansas?"

"NEXT."

"Kansas? I have to stay in FUCKING KANSAS"

"SIR, PLEASE SIR."

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYONE IN KANSAS!"

It gets worse. After I missed the plane, I managed to get a copy of a return ticket reservation. But then they tell me that there are no flights out of US to the DR until tomorrow.

"There's only one flight sir, we can get you on at 10:00 tomorrow"

"There's only one flight from the United States to the Dominican Republic per day?

"That's correct sir."

"They have five international airports in the DR."

"Yes sir."

At some point later this morning, customer service sends me a very long winded US State department policy that specifies that the carrier is not responsible for any paper work, or laws, or authorizations and that the passenger is responsible for everything, including knowing all the bylaws that govern traveling....

Hmmm.

"What about the other airlines? Why don't they do this?"

No response.

I admit that sitting here in cold ass Kansas without jacket credit card, almost no cash, and the prospect of having to pay a couple grand for a ticket, I'm a little upset.

I'M STUCK IN KANSAS!!!!!

I was trying to do something good.

I feel like proof that no good deed goes unpunished.

I feel like I am the Wizard of Oz. Like I'm Dorthy.

Except that I want THE HELL OUT OF KANSAS.

Maybe if I stand in front of the Delta counter, close my eyes, click my heels together and repeat, "There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home." Delta will GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE?

I doubt it.

Delta is clearly no Good Witch of the North.

Thanks Delta, you’re a really Wicked Witch of the West. And Kansas City, no wonder no one wants to live here. “No place like home, no place like home, no place like home, no place like home, no place like home….”

15 January 2010 -- The Real Nightmare

Driving home this afternoon through Port-au-Prince, less than 72 hours after the earthquake, the collapsed buildings stood as testimony to the quake. The Haitian people, however, seemed normal. The gas stations are functioning, the cooking charcoal is available, drinking water is flowing, and the street markets are operating. Ate too many MREs yesterday, so we stopped and bought a papaya, a pineapple, two avocados, and several tomatoes. The fruit was beautiful and close to normal Haitian prices. Where is the disaster? This morning we drove to the airport and offered our services to an Army unit distributing bottled water. The US taxpayer flew bottled water down here, along with heavily armed troops to distribute it by helicopter. We could have delivered it by Tim's truck. The Haitians would have been happy to have an extra plastic bottle, but they are getting plenty of water from their normal wells. Then, the mission was postponed and the troops were diverted to handle the "riot" of passengers boarding planes to leave. The chaos I saw today was inside the carefully-secured confines of the Airport and was the chaotic process of gaining positive media attention. Time to leave. With luck, the chaos will remain at the airport and the Haitians can get on with their lives. Later, we did see one helicopter delivering water to a select group of people within easy news camera range of the US Embassy. At the embassy, the security guards claimed a "riot" justified their increased presence, which prevented us from even entering. Scripted justifications easily allow millions of dollars to be wasted. The streets of Port-au-Prince already show many healthy signs of normalcy, before the tsunami of massive foreign "aid" has even struck.

14 January 2010 -- Disaster Relief

"Man, I cannot write a book about this because people will just think I am bitter," are the words of Tim Schwartz after a day of driving a Search and Rescue Team around Port-au-Prince. We went to the US Embassy to help, since they had evacuated so many embassy personnel that they are now short-handed. We helped a Search and Rescue team from Fairfax Virginia drive around town. Tim's fluent Kreyol and knowledge of Port-au-Prince seemed to be the only thing that kept them on the right track, in the right place, and out of the traffic jams. In the afternoon, Tim's pickup truck was the only transportation they had. Embassy vehicles I saw were either sitting empty and waiting to go on some convoy, or sitting broken in the parking lot. The Fairfax team had sniffer dogs and we went to several collapsed buildings where high-profile people were trapped. For some reason we drove past the buildings where Haitian peasants would have been trapped. The dogs were not impressive and by the end of the day we had not found anyone, but the team did present themselves well for the media. At the end of the day, the back section of the Embassy compound was filled with groups of additional searchers and their equipment. They did not have vehicles available to go out and do anything, but they seemed to entertain themselves with stories of how well trained they were. The Haitians seem resigned to facing another disaster. Many have left the city and are living with relatives in the countryside. Once relief efforts actually start distributing aid, it will probably only attract crowds of people back to a city that is still lacking a full complement of services. The first thing I would provide is gasoline. The indigenous transportation network could provide services, if it only had fuel. I could go on and on, but you would just think I am bitter....

13 January 2010 -- Earthquake in Haiti - The morning after

The largest earthquake in 200 years hit Port-au-Prince, Haiti, last evening. I was in Las Terrenas, Dominican Republic, with Tim Schwartz. We had just checked in to a hotel by the beach, when we were warned of a possible tsunami from the earthquake. Time to get away from the beach. We decided to drive to Port-au-Prince to see if we could help out. Driving all night, changing cars in Santo Domingo, and slipping through a deserted Haitian border station, brought us to Port-au-Prince as the sun was coming up. The bigger buildings that could not flex enough seemed to bear the most damage. Many badly wounded people are still lying in the streets because the hospitals are filled. Aftershocks are still coming through. It seems that only an earthquake could make Port-au-Prince any worse. When will something good happen to the Haitian people?